Ep. 59 Zero Fucks: 10 Things We’ve Let Go of at Midlife

Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a clarifying moment. A shedding. A time when many women begin to feel the weight of all the expectations they've carried—and start putting that weight down. In this episode of Insights from the Couch, we shared 10 things we officially no longer give a fuck about—and we’re pretty sure you’ll relate. These aren’t just random pet peeves. They’re mindset shifts that create freedom, energy, and space for the life we actually want. Let’s break them down:

1. Being Nice Instead of Honest

We were raised on good girl conditioning—smile, smooth things over, keep the temperature at an emotional 72 degrees. But here’s the truth: niceness that betrays your own needs isn’t kindness. It’s self-abandonment. At midlife, we’re choosing honesty—with tact and grace—over swallowing our truth. Because resentment is toxic, and “no” is a full sentence.

2. Measuring Ourselves Against Other People

Comparison is baked into our biology, but social media has turned it into a full-time job. We’re done competing with everyone else’s highlight reels. Our new benchmark? Are we evolving past the woman we used to be? That’s the only race worth running.

3. Living Up to the Life We Thought We’d Have by Now

Many of us envisioned something different by this point—more money, a different relationship, a bigger house, early retirement. But guess what? Life isn’t linear. Setbacks are not failures, they’re plot twists. Letting go of the fantasy makes room for gratitude and growth in the life we’re actually living.

4. What Other People Think of Us

We’ve spent too much time managing other people’s perceptions. Yes, humans are wired to seek belonging—but we’re done twisting ourselves into pretzels for approval. Most people aren’t even thinking about us. And those who are? Their judgments say more about them than they do about us.

5. The Number on the Scale or the Size on the Tag

We grew up in the era of J.Crew catalogs and heroin-chic models. That programming runs deep. But we’re reclaiming our bodies—not for how they look, but for how they let us live. Midlife isn’t about fitting into a size 4—it’s about putting on the damn swimsuit and getting in the pool.

6. Being the Default Caretaker

Women are often the CEOs of everyone else’s lives. But just because we can manage everything doesn’t mean we should. We’re delegating. We’re letting others step up. And we’re learning to live with the discomfort of imperfection—for our own sanity.

7. Looking Ageless

Aging is not a failure—it’s a privilege. Do what makes you feel good (Botox? Natural gray? Your call.) but let’s release the fantasy that we’re supposed to look 30 forever. We’re opting for grace, confidence, and authenticity over impossible ideals.

8. Hustling for Approval

Whether it’s applause from your boss, your partner, or your parents—we’re not outsourcing our self-worth anymore. Midlife is the time to internalize your value. To know that you’re good, even when no one’s clapping.

9. Playing Small to Make Others Comfortable

We used to shrink so others could shine. Not anymore. Playing big might look different for everyone, but one thing is universal: you don’t owe anyone your silence, your safety, or your playing-it-safe. You have permission to take up space.

10. Expectations for Other People’s Lives

You can’t micromanage your kids, your spouse, or your friends into the version of life you want them to live. Releasing expectations for others is an act of love—it creates space for genuine connection. Let people live their lives so you can live yours.

Midlife is an invitation—not a decline. It’s the perfect time to ditch what no longer serves us and rewrite the rules for how we show up in the world. These ten shifts aren’t just about giving fewer fucks—they’re about reclaiming energy, agency, and joy.

Listen to Ep. 59 Now

If these ideas resonated with you, come join us inside The Midlife Masterclass. This is exactly the kind of transformation we support and cultivate together. ➡️ Get on the waitlist at insightsfromthecouch.org