Ep.44 Life After Divorce: How to Heal, Reclaim Joy, and Date on Your Own Terms

Inspired by our conversation with Andrea Baker on Insights From the Couch

Divorce isn’t just the end of a relationship—it’s a profound identity shift. Whether it ended in betrayal or mutual disconnection, the aftermath often leaves us questioning who we are, what we want, and what comes next. In a raw and hilarious conversation with actor, voice artist, and podcast host Andrea Baker, we explored what it really takes to navigate the messy middle of life after divorce. Andrea didn’t hold back—sharing stories of heartbreak, healing, tennis-induced rage relief, and even dating younger men. Here are some of the biggest takeaways and therapist-approved tips for surviving (and thriving) after a divorce.

1. Feel Everything—Then Let It Move Through You

Andrea described her post-divorce self as “eviscerated”—a word that resonates with many who’ve experienced betrayal. Let yourself grieve. Whether that means crying in the shower, smashing tennis balls, or devouring ice cream in bed, this phase isn’t about perfection—it’s about release. Suppressing anger or sadness only buries the pain deeper.💬 “You have to expel those feelings or they will turn into something else—illness, resentment, or shame.”

2. Watch the Narrative: Be Kind to Yourself

When your marriage ends—especially after infidelity—it’s easy to internalize the blame. Andrea shared how she had to rebuild her sense of self after being told she was the problem. With therapy and time, she began to speak kindly to herself again—and it made all the difference.✨ Pro tip: Practice inner self-talk like you would with a best friend. “You’ve got this. You’re healing. You’re strong.”

3. Move Your Body, Reclaim Your Power

Andrea joked that she plays tennis so she doesn’t run people over with her car. That’s more than funny—it’s wise. Physical activity is a powerful way to metabolize emotional energy. Find something you enjoy that lets you sweat, hit, move, or stretch.

4. Create Boundaries Like a Boss

Reentering the dating world can feel like being dropped into a foreign country without a map. Andrea’s “onboarding process” is genius:- Do they use proper grammar?- Are they respectful in conversation?- Will they make an effort to meet you in person?- Do they make you feel safe?💡 Her motto: “Self-preservation first. No one else is coming to save you.”

5. Comparison Will Kill Your Joy—Stop Competing with Your Ex

It’s tempting to measure your healing by how fast your ex moves on. But Andrea reminds us: rushing into a new relationship to “win” is a trap. Healing isn't a race. It’s a return to yourself.🛑 Unfollow your ex. Block their new partner. Avoid the gossip. This isn’t bitterness—it’s emotional safety.

6. Say Yes to New Adventures

Andrea’s “divorce tour” was her way of rediscovering the world—and herself. Whether it’s travel, yoga, podcasting, or dating outside your comfort zone, do something your old life never made space for.🧳 “I would have never done this if I was married.”

7. It’s Okay to Want Love—and Also Okay Not To

Some of us want to find a new partner. Some don’t. And some are still figuring it out. Andrea reminded us that fulfillment doesn’t have to come in a couple. It can come in meaningful friendships, creativity, purpose, or pets.🐾 Andrea’s new podcast, Tales to Tell, explores our connections with animals—because sometimes animals really are better than people.

Final Thoughts

There’s no single way to “do” divorce right. But there is a way to honor yourself through it:- Give yourself grace- Surround yourself with people who make you feel whole- Laugh when you can (and cry when you must)- Stay open—even if it’s scaryMidlife isn’t the end of your love story. It’s the part where you realize you are the main character.