Ep. 43 How to Parent Teens and Tweens Without Losing Your Mind

Let’s be honest—parenting teens and tweens can feel like a wild emotional rollercoaster. One minute they’re laughing with you, the next they’ve slammed the door and declared you the worst. Sound familiar?In this powerful episode of Insights From the Couch, we (Colette Fehr, LMHC/ LMFT, and Laura Bowman, LMHC) break down what it really takes to raise emotionally healthy teens and tweens in today’s chaotic, tech-saturated, anxiety-driven world. Spoiler alert: It’s not about having all the answers—it’s about connection, emotional regulation, and learning to guide rather than control. Here are our top therapist-backed takeaways to help you stay grounded and connected through the hardest years of parenting:

1. Connection Is Your Greatest Tool

If there’s one parenting strategy that works across the board, it’s this: build a strong relationship with your child. When teens feel safe, seen, and heard, they’re far more likely to come to you when it really matters—whether it’s about sex, safety, friendships, or mental health.“Non-judgmental curiosity is your best friend. Ask a question... then shut up and listen.”

2. Guidance Beats Control—Every Time

Let go of micromanaging and instead embrace a “long leash, large corral” approach. Set clear boundaries around health and safety, but give your teen space to make mistakes and learn from them.

3. Regulate Yourself First

You can’t teach emotional regulation if you’re regularly losing your cool. Teens will push buttons, test limits, and trigger old wounds. Your job? Stay steady. Think Horse Whisperer energy: calm presence that builds trust over time.

4. Stay Collaborative, Not Preachy

Lectures rarely land. Instead, think Socratic method: ask questions that help your teen come to their own insights. This helps develop internal motivation and decision-making skills—aka the stuff they actually need to function in the real world.

5. Understand the Adolescent Brain

The teen brain is still under construction. Their prefrontal cortex (a.k.a. decision-making center) isn’t fully developed until their mid-20s. What looks like defiance is often just immaturity or emotional overwhelm.

6. Social Media Is a Mental Health Risk—Set Boundaries Early

This generation is growing up in an entirely different world—one where constant comparison, cyberbullying, and dopamine loops are the norm. Be the bad guy and limit screen time if you have to. Protecting your kid’s brain is more important than being liked.

7. It’s Their Life—Not Your Second Chance

Your child is not a mini-you. Don’t project your dreams, fears, or ambitions onto them. Adolescence is as much about your growth as theirs—letting go, redefining your role, and trusting the foundation you’ve built.

Parenting Tweens and Teens Is Hard—But You’re Not Alone

Whether you're dealing with mood swings, missed curfews, or the scary stuff like anxiety, addiction, or academic stress—remember, you’re doing your best. And if you mess up (you will), repair is always possible.🎧 Want the full conversation? Listen to Season 4, Ep. 43 of Insights From the Couch and download our free worksheet: “How to Stay Steady While Raising Teens” to guide you through it all.