Ways to Make Yourself Shame Resilient:

Shame is a powerful emotion that can impact our self-esteem and relationships. But it doesn’t have to be debilitating. Here are six ways to manage, discharge, and repurpose shame so it doesn’t control your life.

1. Embrace vulnerability

Allow yourself to be vulnerable by acknowledging and accepting your feelings of shame. This opens the door to healing and growth. Realize that places where you feel shame are also the places that make us human and relatable to others. Normalize the feeling of shame in yourself and others.

2. Practice self-compassion

Speak kindly to yourself, recognize that everyone experiences shame at some point, and understand that it doesn’t make you less worthy.

3. Share your experience

Confide in a trusted friend or therapist about your feelings of shame. This can help release the negative emotions and provide a fresh perspective. As they say, “you are only as sick as your secrets”. Just the ability to share a painful/shameful experience takes the charge out of it.

4. Reframe your thoughts

Challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive, realistic ones. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments rather than your perceived flaws. Putting shameful memories or incidents into a larger context of your life can allow them to not take on outsized importance.

5. Build a support system of safe containers

Surround yourself with people who are empathetic, non-judgmental, and understanding. Join groups, clubs, or communities that foster a sense of belonging and acceptance. These safe spaces will help you feel supported and reduce feelings of shame.

6. Transform shame into action

Use your feelings of shame as motivation to make positive changes in your life. By addressing the root cause of your shame, you can turn it into a catalyst for personal growth.

Remember, managing shame takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.